Monday, March 07, 2011

Failures

I failed one of my papers this week. This is my first failure in exams and the course was Physics. It has never occurred to me that I am so weak in physics: in fact, I thought I would ace physics due to my excellence in this course during my high school academic years. Though it may seem that I took this failure lightly, I have never felt so disappointed with myself before. Determination is a key of success loses its meaning after this failure. Hours spent in tutorials, completing problem sets and studying were not worth it at all. The 48% mark which I got really dampen all my hopes and dream of being able to be in the Honour's List this semester. I found it hard to even gain my composure and confidence in writing my Mechatronics midterm paper right after finding out this failure.

I do know that failures MUST occur so that one can value success. However, the timing is so inappropriate: I was just on a verge in getting out a difficult time and I have been more determined to do well this year if compared to my previous 2 years in university. Spending more time in school, being more focussed in lectures and stayed up late just to prepare for a better than average project or design made me so tired of working this semester. This failure only made me feel like giving up: it somehow makes me feel that effort is hardly ever rewarded. This too, is true in the working world whereby hard workers are often disregarded while intelligent workers get all the attention. Intelligence are genetically driven: I doubt one can mould this intelligence in oneself. Thus, does that mean that success is also genetically driven?